Empathy

Today I heard the sad news that my lovely friends mum had died. It was a short illness and consequently a very sudden end. It's been a tough couple of weeks for the family with lots of travelling backwards and forwards to the hospital, as well as the emotional journey they've all been on. As a friend I, along with other close friends, have tried to help practically as well as praying together for the whole situation. However there's always that part of you that feels so helpless and useless and hates seeing your friends going through tough stuff. You want to make it all better and wave a magic wand and it all not be there anymore. We all know that can't happen though and as we are told in the bible 'we will have troubles'.

I know that my own experiences will help me to empathise with the family although grieving is a very personal process and one that no one can fully understand.
I'm reminded of the passage in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,

who comforts us in all our troubles,

so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort

we ourselves have received from God.'

'As high as the Heavens are above the earth, so high are your ways to mine'

Prompted to blog

Yesterday I spent a wonderful day at 'Fourteen+'. This is a retreat day held at Oakwood and run by two lovely ladies, the host of the house Liz Pudner, and Melitta Cullis a creative whiz. Two very different people but two ladies who fit together like a glove as they share the same passion to create a space for women to 'spend time' and be refreshed. The beautiful surroundings of the house are added to by the creative resources made available to us to dip into. There are bible verses and photographs to focus our minds, there are books and magazines to delve into, sand trays to write in and be creative with, paints and an arty table to practise your art skills. Or you can just sit and soak in the wonderful atmosphere, ponder and pray. To find out more about it all click here.

Yesterday was a special day for me as it was the fourth anniversary of my mum passing away. I was glad I was where I was, and able to just spend time remembering her, the love she had for me and the love we shared as a family.

It's been a difficult four years. I initially thought I was coping quite well with losing my mum who was more than a mum to me. But over the last year or so I've realized that grief can be a strange thing and can grab you from behind when you're not looking.

I'm a 'coper' in life and see myself as quite self reliant and someone who tends to support others. But over the last year I've come to appreciate that I needed other people. I needed communication, I needed a hug now and then, and although I'm not normally a talker, I needed to talk!!

This blog has helped me to process an awful lot of stuff and I'd come to a place where I didn't feel I had anything else to say. However yesterday while at Fourteen+ I was prompted by a friend to get back to blogging as she felt I had more to give. So here I am back with you all after a few months break.

I hope I can be a blessing to you as I share some of what's on my heart over the next few months.

Zechariah

Well the wait is almost over. Christmas Day is nearly upon us. However in the Austin household we have one other important event to celebrate two days before the Big Day. Gemma was born on the 23rd December and so our Christmas time is always wrapped up around that too.
14 years ago I spent Christmas in hospital as Gems was born as an emergency cesarean. She was a week late and my blood pressure had suddenly shot up. After having a very easy pregnancy this was rather annoying but hey ho that's life I suppose.

Anyway I won't bore you with the details, suffice to say she is a joy and we love her to bits. She was definitely worth waiting for and it's a privilege to call her my daughter.

As I blogged previously I've been reading daily advent scriptures and studies to help me prepare for Christmas spiritually. It's been an interesting journey and each day I've discovered something new about God's plan and about the different people who played a part in that plan. The one character who has stood out for me this year in particular is Zechariah. I've really warmed to his plight and the part he plays in the story for more than one reason!!

He was a devout man of God, a priest. Both he and his wife Elizabeth were 'upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren, and they were both well on in years.' (Luke 1: 6-7).

It was while Zechariah was on duty in the temple that he was visited by the angel Gabriel who told him his prayers for a child of their own, were to be answered. Now at this point I can so sympathise with Zechariah as his initial reaction is one of doubt and mistrust. He asks Gabriel 'How can I be sure of this?' (Luke 1:18). Because of his doubts Zechariah was struck dumb.....instantly!! A little harsh I think but we see this act also plays a significant part in the story as it unfolds.

All too often I have the same reaction. When I've waited for something for so long and I just can't believe it's ever going to happen. I've questioned the answer when it's come. I wish I could be more like Mary in the story (Luke 1:38), who pretty much accepts her news of giving birth to Jesus without too much fuss!! I can only put this down to the difference between youth and someone getting on in years (!!), and having lived a long devout life trying as hard as possible to follow God in the right way, but has had to deal with disappointment and unanswered prayer. This reminded me of Jesus' words in Luke 18:17 when everyone was bringing children to Jesus and the disciples sent them away. Jesus told them off and accepted the children because, He said, 'anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it'.

However to return to Zechariah to finish, I believe he redeemed himself.
When his son was finally born, after waiting nine months living in complete silence, he did obey God and confirmed that their child should be called John. This went against all tradition and yet both he and Elizabeth knew that John was a gift from God and would become a great man of God in his own right and prepare the way for the Messiah. Because Zechariah obeyed God, his voice was returned to him. He didn't then just go about his business as if nothing had happened he used his voice immediately praising and thanking God. It is an amazing passage and well worth a read. Nine months of frustration, waiting, preparation and realisation are expressed in Luke 1:68-79.

So my challenge this Christmas is to be more like Mary, more accepting of opportunities God puts in my way, without questioning them. But also to realise that sometimes I get it wrong like Zechariah and I need to react in the way he does with thanksgiving and humility.