Forgiveness is central to the Christian faith. As a Christian I believe I have received and continue to receive God's forgiveness for stuff I've done wrong, or thought wrong or stuff I've not done when I should have done etc etc. However I do sometimes have difficulty accepting that forgiveness. It's like when I've done something to someone, hurt them emotionally, said something stupid in the heat of the moment or sent a hurtful text, or let someone down by not doing something I'd said I'd do. Sometimes it's easier to forgive others than to accept the forgiveness of the hurt party.
The Lord's Prayer itself says 'Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors' Matthew 6:12. Words we've all said many many times but how many times have we really thought about them?
Over the last twelve months or so I've done a lot of thinking and reading about forgiveness. I've prayed lots about it too. I've done things I've needed forgiveness for from friends and from God, and I've also had to do some forgiving of my own. It's been a tough road and as I said at the start not sure I'm quite there yet, but I know I'm in a better place than I was, and I know God has been helping me through it all. I've had to have hard conversations and had to do some deep soul searching, but along with the Morph experience and some really good friends, some new and some not so new, I've come to a better understanding of what it means to forgive and how to deal with the challenges that brings.
I think my first observation and piece of advice would be.....give it time.
Unless you experience a miracle it won't happen overnight.You'll keep revisiting stuff that's gone on and you'll question your actions and motives. You'll spend hours and sometimes days going over and over what's happened or what you think has happened in your head, each time making it worse!!!
A good friend of mine and I share the phrase 'put it in the box'. In other words file away the hurt and pain and experiences, until you can deal with them. All too often however we open the box of our own accord maybe at the wrong time, causing more pain.
As a Christian and having a relationship with God, I believe we need to allow God to prompt us when to open the box. I believe He equips us to deal with whatever's in the box, but it will take time and we have to trust that God will prompt us when that right time is. It may take more than one opening too.....step by step you'll lead me and I will follow you all of my days.
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